Wa are FCC - Nº16

■ Adopt a kinder attitude to yourself, accepting that the decisions you made then, you made them believing it was the best option you could make in those circumstances. ■ Sometimes, if possible, it can help to apologize, as it reconciles you with the circumstance you experienced. ■ Think that your intention was never to harm. ■ At that time, there was no way for you to guess the outcome. As human beings we cannot guess future events and therefore it is not within our power to avoid them. ■ Share your feelings with people you trust. ■ Entanglement in what could have been and was does not help any one and turns against you. ■ Focus on the present, on what you can do now, on what depends on you. ■ It is right now, because we are in a bad way, that it is in our best interest to create conditions to be well. We can decide to act to feel good, instead of waiting to feel good to act. ■ Start with simple behaviors, which do not require a great effort. We will gradually normalize our life. We should be persistent so that we do not get carried away by those emotions or thoughts that trip us up. ■ Give yourself permission to allow emotions to surface. Give yourself time to cry and be there if you need to. ■ Talk to those close to the person who has died, because talking about what we feel is a way to gradually diffuse the pain. ■ Tthink: what do I think the deceased person, who loved me so much, would say to me, seeing me in this situation, what would he or she say to help me overcome and move forward, what would I say to my relatives who are going through the same trance to support them in this situation? ■ Gradually expose yourself to situations that enable you to evoke memories, such as entering a loved one’s room and touching their clothes and personal items. This allows us to get used to the new situation. I am sad because I lost very important people in my life I feel guilty I’m angry and I’m feeling a sense of rage about what has happened ■ Recognize the pain you feel. Understand that it is not uncommon for us to ask ourselves these questions, that it is not easy to find an explanation that can be of comfort to us, that there are questions for which we do not have answers, that many people in our situation ask themselves the same question. No matter howmuch we think about it, we do not have the capacity to change the situation. It is an effort that exhausts us and does not allow us to move forward. W E L L N E S S 48 W E L L N E S S